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UPS Freakout 3
Ringing Hello? Hel- Beep... Hello? Yes, this-''' Hello? '''Yes, this is Ray Ray at United Parcel Service. Wh- wha- I'm on a long distance phone call. You have a package for me now? Yes. Okay. Why don't you bring it up uh... I- I'll- I'll- I'll- I'll come down and pick it up 'cause the elevator's broken. Well, as a matter of fact, we were there last night but... you were way too loud last night. You didn't even hear the door bell. I was not loud at all. I wasn't even home. Much too loud. Wa- wasn't me. 'Cause I- I didn't get- I wasn't working here last night. Well-''' That wasn't me. '''Fella, this is UPS. You are- You're from UPS? Really? I was on a long distance phone call when you called. Uh... and... uh... I have to call that person back. That's none of my affair, sir. I'm gonna call UPS and find out what the heck is happening. I left detailed instructions on your door and you just disregarded it, huh? That's not true. That's not true at all. sound Drive out there and you guys are blasting noise out the door. sound Yo, HELLO? the guys at UPS Hi, this guy keeps calling me saying he's from UPS and he's been at my door several times. And he didn't leave a- a flyer or anything. And he was very rude to me and abrupt to me... it's... umm... uhh... He's a- He's a phony... He's a phony... He's very rude and abrupt... He might be trying to ..... He might be just trying to rob me. up ------------------------------ Ringing Hello? Hi, this Bri Bri... United Parcel Service. How ya doin'? What's up? Well, we're tryin' to get this parcel brought to you and we tried yesterday too but there was so much noise and sound coming out that we couldn't even get through. Yeah, is today Tuesday, or what day is today? It's a bad day to be monkeying around with me. Okay... So, who are ya? And what are you calling about? Uh... Backing up, I'm Bri with United Parcel Service. Yeah...? And I need to know that you're gonna... quiet down a little bit so I can do my job tonight, alright? Well... Who's the- who's the parcel addressed to? I'm gonna make one more attempt, and... if I don't like what I hear and or see, I'm gonna- I'm gonna just leave the slip. Who is the parcel addressed to? I've already been out there twice and you were way too loud to even hear me. Hey, do you wanna deliver this parcel or don't ya? I'm gonna try one more time. I think you're full of shit and I think you should go to hell and I think you shouldn't call here any more. Fuck off asshole. up -------------------------- Ringing Hello? Hi, this is Ray Ray. United Parcel Service. Yeah? And we've got a parcel here for ya. But listen, we were there last night tryin' to deliver this stuff and you guys were making so much noise no one even answered the door bell. So... I wasn't making noise. I was was in bed. Oh, I heard all kinds of noise. What time were you here? Oh!'' Way too loud. I need you to quiet down...' Well I'm not making any noise. '''Well-' There's a television I could turn down a little bit. Turn it down! I just turned off the television. Go back and unplug it! No, it's off! Do you hear that. It's been turned off. I just turned it off. O-F-F. Do you understand what that means? Well, keep it off. K? Okay, well what do you think, I'm some kind of idiot? Well, do you want this package, or don't ya? Well, no. But I mean, you're not being very nice to me. I didn't do anything wrong last night. Anyway, I'll shut up and wait for your delivery. Buddy, just shut up... and uh-''' Well no. Don't say that! Who- who are you with? '''UPS. Who? United Parcel? Why don't you listen up. This is the same problem we had last night. What do you mean the same problem? You didn't even see me last night. Yeah, 'cause your makin' way way way too much noise. Okay? I'm drivin' a big big truck. You can't miss it. And I've got a... three, four heavy boxes here I need your help with. I'm in bed. I can't get- I don't get out of bed. Well, get up! I mean... No, sir, I can't get out of bed. I'm in bed. I have a restriction on my leg. I can't move. Oh, you're gonna have a lot more restrictions if I don't get this stuff delivered tonight. Really? Yeah. Are you kidding? You know what I want you to do? I don't think I want the packages. I want to talk to your supervisor and I'm gonna get you fired. Fired? Hear what I just said? Did you hear what I just said? Fired. I don't want to hear talk like that from anybody. Well-''' You're a ridiculous person! '''I need a check drawn, and I need help carrying these frickin' things to your door. Period. Well... what'd you expect me to do that? I'm commanding you to cut me a check here. How much? Eighteen hundred and thirty-six dollars. Where's this from. Uh... It's from Tasmania. Okay? So pipe down. Get up. Get dressed. Come to the door... No, sir. I don't want to meet you. I don't wanna see you. I was already there twice. Sire, it's not my fault. Listen, why don't you just turn around. 'Cause I'm not gonna deal with you. I'm gonna deal with your supervisors. You're- you're- you're- you're way lower in class than they should have delivering packages to somebody. You... you shouldn't be working. You shouldn't be their- their representative. I'm behind the steering wheel right now. Well, good for you! I want a check. I want you wout of bed-''' No, I'm not giving you your damn check! Give me your damn phone number and your address! '''I want you to quiet down. No. Listen, I'm gonna hang up on you in a minute. Don't do that. I don't have a check. I can't get out of bed. And I certainly ain't gonna come to you and... and pick up some kind of package 'cause... You understand what I just said? This stuff's from Tasmania, fella. Fella? My name is Mr. Sheeney. What are ya? Tasmanian? No. I'm not answering that question. Why? It's none of your damn business why. You're too damn... weird to talk to any further. And I'm gonna hang up in about a second. Don't do that. No, I'm gonna do that right now. Just turn your TV off, be quiet and-''' The TV's off! I'm gonna hang up. This has been one of the most extraordinary telephone calls I have ever had in my'' life! You're one of the most despicable people I have ''ever talked to! Now you got that? Turn around and take your dang truck where you came from. Do not deliver this dang package to me. Because, uh... you're too weird to deal with and I don't want to have it. So hang up. I'm gonna say goodbye and you... you called me fella. That's pretty weird. I'm hanging up now in like two seconds. So, cut this phone call off right now. But boy, you're gonna be in some real trouble with your superiors and supervisors. In some real trouble. You got it? '''We're gonna ship you out to Tasmania, first thing in the morning. up ---------------------------------------- Ringing Hello? Hello? Hi. This is Sylvester. UPS. And we-''' Hello? 'Yeah. HELLO. Jeez. Loui-' Jeez? Well, tell me what you want. 'Well, pipe down for a second. Uh... we were there last night. There was ''waaay too much commotion coming out. Uh... no one even heard the bell. So... we're gonna just be shipping your parcel back, alright? Just wanna let you know. We were home all last night. Yeah. I know you were there, 'cause I was trying to deliver your box. What time did you try to deliver- All kind of commotion comin' out. Okay. Well I tell you what. Why don't you just deliver it? I'll be here. No, it's a little late. I rang and rang and rang the bell and no one even bothered to answer it so... this thing is going back to the sender. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We were here in the kitchen so... I... If you deliver... I- I- Who are you delivering this to? Let's get that one straight first. It's says "Pedantic Luddite" on there. I don't know who that is. Just tell me the name of the person you were trying to deliver it to. I'm Sylvester. I- No, no no. And I have-''' You're still not answering the question. Who was the delivery to be made to? 'I have never heard so much noise and commotion like I heard-' Well that doesn't make a damn bit of- That's not answering my question. Who was the delivery made to? 'I have ''never heard as much commotion as I heard last night. Oh. Then you know what? Go to hell. Do what you gotta do. This is ridiculous. There was a huge uproar in there last night. Oh, for God's sakes. Would you just tell me who you're delivering this to? Unlike-''' Or we don't have anything to talk about. '''It was unlike anything I've heard before. Oh. You know what? Go to hell. 'Laughing up -------------------------------- Ringing Hello? Hi, this is Malcolm at United Parcel Service. We have four parcels for- for delivery, but we came by last night and it was much much too loud. Who are you calling? Who are you calling? I'm calling you. And we want to make you're gonna be quiet before we come back out there. I don't know what you're talking about, sir. I just want you to know we're sending this backage back tooo the sender. Okay. Excuse me. You're calling the wrong number. I need you to quiet down. Okay? What are you t- What are you talking about? I'm talkin' we came out there last night and you were waaay too loud. You did not come by my house. I don't have no noise in my house at night. Loudest thing I ever heard. up ........... Ringing Yes? Yeah, this is Spencer at UPS. I just want to tell you, we're sending this package back to-''' Excuse me! '''-the sender. Wait a minute. Hold up. Hold up. Excuse me. You were way too loud-''' Okay. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Y- you're not calling the location. I don't know the location you're tryin' to- Okay, let me calm down. I'm not trying to holler at you, okay? '''You better quiet down! Oh, fuck you stupid motherfuck-! up Category:Special delivery Category:Noise Category:Long-winded Category:Celebrities